The Aftermath of War
by memorex1257
Summary: Ponyboy left home so he could live for himself not for his brothers. From the memories of being a prisoner of war in Vietnam to the guilt that follows him everywhere he goes, can he actually live through it all?
1. Chapter 1

Well I'm back and I really have no idea how long this story is going to be or what is going to happen but I'll do my best

**Okay I am SO sorry for deleting this but I wasn't sure about where I wanted to go with it but after four weeks to think about it I know and will continue working on this story. Thank you, please review. **

**Nope don't own **

**This is the sequel to POW but that isn't necessary to read.**

**Chapter 1- **

The sun was rising against the blue sky. The truck seemed to be still trudging along as I passed the sign that read: _Welcome to Colorado._ I don't care where I'm going just as long as I am free. 

The same question and the same event kept replaying in my mind over and over again. _Why? Why had I left? What was I really going to do and where was I going? _I was exhausted as the sun began to rise. 

The sign up ahead was for a hotel. My body begged for rest but my mind wasn't ready to sleep. My knee was throbbing endlessly; pain was shooting up my leg. My eyes felt weighed down and my vision was blurry. 

I saw a new sign, _Bent Colorado,_ interesting. The town I found myself in was how I felt. My life seemed to have turned upside down. I was running away from the people I loved to some unknown city in Colorado. The looks on their faces is what hurt me the most. I know that I hurt them the day that I left for Vietnam but leaving them without any explanation and any reason, I know that that hurt them even more. 

I pulled the truck over and into a small parking area of a bar. The place was thankfully open even early in the morning. I walked away from the truck and towards the bar.

I walked into the small bar that was almost empty except for a few guys talking in a corner booth. With crutches supporting my weight I walked to the counter and sat down. 

The bartender walked over to me. He was in his forties, black hair, tan skin, and fat. "What can I get you?"

"Coffee, black." I said I a very tired voice. He looked at me before going to get the coffee. He came back a few moments later and handed me the warm cup. I took a sip, the taste was bitter but I was hoping that it might wake me up a little. 

"What happened to your leg?" He asked as he looked me up and down leaning against the counter of the bar. 

"War." Was all I said. There was no point in going into horrific details about the previous year and a half.

"At least you came back in one piece. If you need anything just ask. The drink is on the house, God knows they don't pay you anything for putting your life on the line.

"Thanks. Umm do you know where a hotel is?" I asked as I finished the cup of coffee. 

"Yeah, right up the road about a mile or so. Keep going straight and you'll eventually hit a four lane road, just keep going straight and then you should see it."

"Thank you, bye." He waved as I stood up and walked out of the bar and right to the old truck. The coffee did absolutely nothing, I still felt very tired and really weak. Not to mention the fact that my knee was really killing me. 

I opened the door and got into the drivers seat and started the engine. The old Ford started up. I noted that it would need gas soon. I had recently filled it up before entering Colorado. I slid the crutches over to the 'shotgun' seat and I pulled out of the parking lot. 

I followed his instructions and headed up the road. After a few minutes the road widened and I kept going. There weren't too many cars out but there were a few. Some people were walking along the sidewalks going in and out of breakfast places and shopping areas. 

I noticed one girl. She looked very familiar. He long brown hair was being moved by the wind. I couldn't tell what color eyes she had from the distance between us. She walked into a diner called _Joe's Diner_. Part of me wanted to pull over but I needed sleep so I drove on. 

I saw someone else that I knew I had never met before but he reminded me of Soda. Guilt washed over me. I knew he must be really hurting right now, I left him when all he was doing was protecting me form something bigger than him. Darry was the same way but even though I somewhat regretted it I still believed that I need to live for me not them.

I was still very exhausted. The road started to get blurry and my eyes started to close. I opened them again realizing that I almost fell asleep but once again sleep passed over me and I had no strength to stop it. Driving all night long had taken its toll on me.

The car slowly drifted into the other lane but I was dead to the world for the tome being. The sound of a horn could be heard off in the distance. It sounded like a big truck and there was something else but no matter how much I knew I should wake up my body and mind had shut down. 

The cars collided and bystanders stood around looking at the wreck. One person called for help but the collision had left a smaller vehicle in ruins and the victims that were now inside may not even be alive. 

How long would it take for help to arrive? Who would live and who would die? Those were the questions that ran through the heads of the innocent bystanders who decided that that watching would somehow save the injured and dying people. The same girl form before was the first to react as she saw the crash from inside the diner. She called for help and soon the sirens could be heard in the distance. 

**Review, they really do help and the more I get the faster that I update.**


	2. Chapter 2

Two notes

**Ch.2-**

I had swerved, I had swerved and now there was a totaled car because of it. In the lane next the one that I was in was a small car beneath a big eight wheel truck. I felt my head pounding as I had hit a telephone pole; blood was trickling down by forehead. I heard sirens in the distance.

"Oh my God, are they alright!" Some one screamed from the side walk.

I felt weaker than before and now my knee was noting but numb. I couldn't fell my legs anymore and panic consumed me. I felt tears come to my eyes. The sound of voices and sirens were only a few feet away from me. I heard the sound of a buzz saw cutting through metal from the car across the road. 

Two paramedics pulled me out of the truck and onto a gurney. I was going back to the hospital for the second time in only a few months. They loaded me into ambulance and I passed out from pain and exhaustion.

I woke up to the sound of people running around calling out orders. I opened my eyes to see the inside of a hospital. There was gauze on my forehead to stop the bleeding. Nurses and doctors were running back and froth between rooms, machines were beeping. 

One nurse was walking over to the bed next to mine. "Hey, when can I go?"

She looked at me and walked over. "When we fix your knee and your head will need a few stitches. We have two criticals from the accident and when we have some free hands we'll work on you. Is there anyone you would like me to call?"

"No. I'm fine. What happened in this crash?" I asked with a feeling that it was my fault.

"You swerved on the road and an eight wheeler crashed into a one of those small cars, you hit a telephone poll. You weren't drunk so the police will talk to you but I doubt anything will happen." With that she walked away to take care of the other people. 

My guilt was even worse now than it was before. All I could think of was who was hurt and what charges I might get for this. About an hour later an actual doctor came over. He was young probably my age or a little older. He looked at my knee. "How did you hurt the leg?"

"I was in Vietnam." 

"Okay, there really isn't anything we can do to fix it but I will prescribe something to take the pain away." He pulled out a pad and wrote something down on it and handed it to me. "There that should last you while you're in physical therapy."

"I don't do physical therapy." I said as he looked at me.

"Okay, well you should so you can get your knee back into shape. Your head will only need a few stitches." He walked away and came back a few minutes later with some sort of gel and a needle. 

He rubbed the gel on my forehead which was surprisingly cold. He then started stitching my head, and it hurt. It took him about twenty minutes to do it and then he just but a bandage on it and discharged me. 

I went up to the front desk and asked for my stuff and the pills and some crutches. The same nurse as before walked away and came back with everything. "Take care of your self. I called you a cab too it's outside."

"Thanks." I walked out of the hospital and got into the cab that was waiting. "Do you know where the bar up the road is?"

"Yeah, it's the only one around here for miles." The guy said and started to drive that way. It was about fifteen minutes until I was in front of the same bar. I paid the guy, grabbed my stuff and walked inside. 

The same guy was behind the counter, the clock above him read: 6 o'clock. My whole day had gone and I was still tired. "Hey." I said as I walked up and took the same seat as before. The place was more crowded this time.

"Hey kid, what do ya need?" He asked as he looked at me.

"Do you know where I can find a job and a place to stay?" I asked him as I looked down at my feet. 

"Yeah, I need an extra guy here to clean up the tables, and clean the glasses. There's a room upstairs that you can use. Now this is only for a little while because I got a cousin coming in in a few weeks who I promised the job and the room to, but that should give you enough time to find another job and another place." 

"Thanks, this will really help. When should I start?" I said actually happy that I had found something to do. 

"Now." He said and handed me a cloth to wipe the tables down. 

I spent the rest of the night cleaning up the old bar. My knee was still hurting and so was my head. I walked past a table of guys who were talking about the accident. "The two people who got hit by the truck died a few hours ago and they lost the guy who caused the whole thing." One of the guys said.

"That son of a bitch, it was Casey too. She just got her life back together and her sister was taking her up to see their other sister, she owns a farm a little north of here." One of the other guys said. "I talked to her this morning before they took off; it's a damn shame too."

My stomach lurched, I had caused two people to die. "Closin' boys, finish it up." The bartender said turns out his name was Cal. The guys finished up their drinks and headed out the door. "Okay kid just sweep up and I'll see ya bright and early." 

"Alright." I swept the floor and once I was sure there was no one around grabbed a bottle of Vodka off of the shelf. I poured it into a glass and took a sip. It had a bitter taste, hell it was like rubbing alcohol and it burned going down. I filled the glass back up and took a few pills with it. This would make it go away for a while. I downed the last of the Vodka that was in the glass, cleaned up until the felling of being high and being drunk took over. I stumbled up to bed and let everything go for the time being. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Kid, come on we got work to do

**Okay so I'll try and post at least once a week. Also the most annoying thing ****bout writing on FanFiction is the people who like your story enough to either favorite it or story alert it but not enough to review. It just really annoys me because its not like I can't tell. So if you like it review if you don't oh well that's the way life is. So if you like it review, thank you. Now chapter 3**

**Chapter 3- **

"Kid, come on we got work to do!" Cal yelled from down below. My head was killing me, and my body ached. I forced myself up and looked at my watch. 8 am. Great, just what I need.

I walked down to the bar. I was exhausted, Cal was talking to some guys at the bar but he pointed to the glasses on the counter that needed to be washed and stacked. I moved over there to work on them while eavesdropping on the conversation.

"Yeah the police are pretty mad that they lost him, I mean what kind of hospital staff lets a guy walk right out of there."

"I know, anyway does anybody know what this guy looks like and where he might have gone?" Cal asked.

"Yeah they said light brown hair and white that's it how helpful is that and we got no idea where that scum is." One of the guys said as he leaned up against the bar.

"Well if anyone finds him, he's a dead man. When does Lauren get in?" The other guy asked.

"She got here this morning. She says that her parents are planning the funeral for tomorrow. I can't believe that she lost two sisters in that wreck." The guy leaning against the bar said. He looked like one of those guys who had been here for his whole life, they tough guy edge to him.

"Are you going to the funeral?" Cal asked.

"We both are, in fact I'm sure the whole town is going." The guy said he on the other hand looked new, clean shaven. Maybe he was a lawyer or something that didn't require too much manual labor.

"Alright see you, bye guys." Cal said as the two guys walked out of the bar. "Kid that's good, not much action here in the morning if you want you can go back to sleep for a while. The rush comes around two plus I got some guys coming here for a little meeting."

"Alright, thanks." I headed back to bed and focused on what I had just heard. I needed to find a job and fast because how long I could remain unknown was in fact unknown.

The next day there was nobody around. Everyone was at the funeral of Casey and Megan Coleman. I did feel responsible for their deaths. I left my brothers without an explanation, and now I killed two people. My life just seemed to be getting worse.

I was behind the bar cleaning it off with an old rag when the door opened. I thought it was Cal but instead it was a woman dressed in only black. Her hair was long, brown and her eyes were green and her face was tearstained.

"You open for business?" She asked as she walked up and sat on a barstool.

"Yeah what can I get you?"

"Scotch." I brought the bottle out and poured it into a small shot glass. "Leave the bottle."

"You okay?" I asked as I leaned against the bar. She looked up at me and took the glass to her mouth and drank it all before answering.

"No, my sisters are dead and being at that funeral did nothing but depress me even more. I'm leaving to go back to the farm tonight and then I can out this out of my mind for a little while."

"I'm sorry, is there anything I can get you?" I asked, her eyes were a perfect green, not mixed with any other color just green.

"Do you know where I can find someone who can take care of the farm, I doubt that I will be able to for a while."

"Wow, actually I need another job but nothing if you can't do it."

"Any experience?" She re-filled the glass and downed the glass again and re-filled it again and repeated the process.

"No but I can learn if you feel like teaching." She looked at me for a second and I couldn't tell if it was because she liked me or she was too drunk to see the bad knee.

"Sure, we leave tonight though." She took another shot and the door opened revealing Cal and some other guys all in black.

"Lauren, are you okay?" Cal asked as he walked up to the bar.

"Yeah, I should go though, I'm leaving tonight."

"Come on you can stay for a little while can't you?" Cal asked.

"No, I need to get back to my life and try and get past this if that is possible. I am however taking your bartender with me to look after the farm for a little while so I can deal with all of this." She smiled to Cal and drank the rest of the bottle.

"Okay well good luck and stay out of trouble."

"Alright bye, and I'm Lauren by the way. Meet you back here tonight."

"Ponyboy." I shook her hand before she stumbled out of the bar clearly drunk.

One of the guys looked at me and then said "you look after her, got it. I don't want to see her get hurt."

"Yes sir."

"Good, better get your stuff in order."

I walked away from the bar and got some of the stuff I had together but I sat on my bed and thought. I was curious on how Soda and Darry were doing, and Williams I was going to see him one of these days.

I was going to be working on a farm, well that was new. I needed change and maybe somehow this would be a new way to help. I had to still live for myself but how was that possible. The dream had always been collage and a good job so I could get out of my town and yet that was what war did. It gave me my own life but at a cost, I lost my brothers.

I sat there thinking for what seemed like forever when I heard a knock at the door. I was expecting Cal but got something completely different, someone that I thought that I would never see again but there he was in all his faded glory.


	4. Chapter 4

Before me stood Steve, he looked exhausted

Before me stood Steve, he looked exhausted. His eyes were bloodshot. "Ponyboy thank God I found you." He took a step forward but I quickly stepped back.

"What do you want Steve?" I said as I continued packing up the few belongings that I had.

"Ponyboy look I'm sure that being over there was hard and all but you got to come home. Your brothers are worried sick about you. Just come back to Tulsa man." Steve looked pathetic. I felt a pang of guilt as I looked at him, maybe I should go back.

"Hey Ponyboy, you ready to go it's a long drive." Lauren said as she walked up the stairs. She eyed Steve suspiciously.

"Yeah one minute." She nodded and walked back down to the bar. "Look Steve I got a job lined up and I don't want to go back there."

"Well that's to God dammed bad." He grabbed my arm and started to pull be away but he stopped. "Let's go! It isn't fair for your brothers."

"You know that by yourself you can't get me to move right." Steve looked at me before trying to move me again. He pulled as hard as he could before he leaned back to punch me. Unfortunately for him I was faster and before he knew it he was on the ground with a bloody nose.

"Please, you need to go back they're your family." Steve looked even more pathetic lying on the ground with a bloody nose.

"I am not going back there to be told what to do again. I'm doing what I want and what I want ain't going back home." I grabbed my bag and walked down the stairs. Lauren saw me and hugged a few of the guys around her goodbye before we walked out to get in her truck.

I was in the passenger seat of the blue Ford truck. Lauren may have been drunk but she was sober now. The sun had already set.

"What am I going to be doing at the farm?" I asked.

"Not much, there ain't much there anyway. Just working on some of the horses and stuff like that." She said she turned her head toward me and smiled slightly before turning back to the road.

"So why did you just decide to come out here?" Lauren asked as she press a little harder on the gas and the truck accelerated.

"I just wanted change, to get away form my brothers. Live for myself." I said as I tried to keep calm that we were going 80mph.

"You sound just like me." She laughed a little bit before adding "I was eighteen and tired of my family. I'm the middle child. I was tired of the perfect little family that we pretended to be. Megan is my older sister and she was the perfect kid, nothing she did was ever wrong. Then there is Casey, a year younger than me and she did so many drugs and drank a lot of beer, she changed and over dosed. She never was the same and she was starting to get her life back but I was tired of it so I left moved a little north and worked on this farm. The guy who owned it died in an accident and he had no family and he left it to me. I lost most of everything but I still got the property and a few cattle." She looked at the road and went even faster. "Then as I got happy my life fell apart. Both of my sisters dead and the son of a bitch who did this is out there and they can't find him."

"Slow down!" I looked at her she just kept going faster and faster. The speedometer kept going higher and higher. "Lauren slow down the truck!" She looked at me and smiled before slowing down a little.

"Better?" I nodded. She took a sharp right before stopping the truck. "Here we are."

I looked around it was too dark to see anything but it looked big. "So where we going?" She looked at and then opened the door of the truck and stepped out.

"Come on." She walked up the road. I stepped out of the truck grabbed my bag and by crutches and followed her up the road. There was a small ranch styled house on the upper part of the farm. "This is it. All you gotta do is feed the horses and all. Rooms up the hall and ya going to have to get up bright and early." She walked away leaving me standing in the hallway.

I dropped my bag on the floor and walked out to the kitchen. "You want a beer." She was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Sure." She pointed toward the fridge. I pulled out a beer and sat across from her at the table.

"So what happened to your leg?" Lauren took a long sip from the bottle before looking at me. "I told you my story now you tell me yours."

"I went to Vietnam, messed up my leg and end of story." I drank the rest of my beer.

"No, there is more to that story, I know there is. Be honest with me, I am giving you a job so that you don't have to go home but I can take that away." She smiled before taking another sip of beer.

"Fine, I enlisted when I turned eighteen, went to war and got captured. Became a prisoner of the North Vietnamese and they messed up my leg. The war ended and I came back home. I realized that I hate it in Tulsa so I left and now I'm here." I looked at her expecting a reaction but there wasn't one.

"Thank you; see you in the morning, nice and early." She drank the rest of her beer before grabbing another one and walking away.

I looked at the empty beer bottle in my hand. I walked over to the fridge and pulled out another beer and the bottle of pills from my pocket. I took two pills and waited for the feeling to kick in. I needed to let all of this sink in.


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone wanted to know who had caused the deaths of Casey and Megan Dillden

**Okay so another chapter down. Hope y'all enjoyed it and I am planning for there to be only eight chapters so we are getting to the end but don't worry plenty more drama and angst will pursue. Please review if you like it because it is very encouraging and really the more reviews that I get the more likely I will update because the incentive to write comes from reviews. **

Everyone wanted to know who had caused the deaths of Casey and Megan Dillden. There was very little information on who did cause the wreck but I knew it wouldn't be long before they traced the truck back to me.

Lauren walked into the kitchen. I had been working here for two weeks, it was simple feed the horses and make sure that nothing bad happens. Lauren was nice but that was it. She was pretty but not beautiful, she was an average person and I was only going to work here for a little while longer until I found another place to go and something new to try. That was how I wanted to live for the time being, only trying new things.

Lauren did her morning routine, brew coffee and mix Irish Cream with it. She drank more than any one else that I had ever known but I guess that was her way of grieving.

She took her coffee and took a sip before sitting down at the kitchen table. She looked at me for a minute before saying "the coroner's office has ruled that the accident was an accident. They're not looking for _you_ anymore." I looked at her for a minute.

How did she know and why hadn't she said anything? "I..."

"What do you think I am stupid? The way you showed up in town and then just started working at the bar and you had cuts on your face. Your truck, it was damaged in the accident but they couldn't trace it back to no one. I put the pieces together and at first when you were going to come up here I wanted to kill you but I changed my mind I thought that you might come clean but you didn't."

"Look, it was…." I was cut off again by her screaming.

"I don't want to hear it. I gave you two weeks to come clean and you didn't. I'm sure it was an accident but you lied about it and I do not want you in this house anymore! Get out!" She looked at me with hate filled eyes. "If you ever come back here again I'll say that this was a scam and that you wanted them to die so that you could get to me. I have that whole town wrapped around my finger and with a wave of my hand you could be in jail for a very long time." She avoided eye contact as she played with her hands.

I stood up and went to grab my stuff. When I packed everything up I walked back out to the kitchen. She was still sitting there looking at me, her eyes flashed to the door and I walked out leaving another thing in my life behind.

It was a long walk to the bus station. My knee was on fire when I got there. There were plenty of places that I could go but then again what would I do when I got there. I remembered the paper with Williams address on it that was still in my pocket.

I used a good bit of my money to buy a ticket to Mobile, Alabama. That would get me close enough and then I could see him again see what he's up to.

The greyhound was almost full and I was lucky enough to get a seat by one of the windows and there was nobody next to me so I had plenty of time to contemplate my thoughts.

My life had changed, I was no longer the youngest of the gang who always seemed to get into tight situations, and I was now the man who ran away after I got back from the war. I guess in some ways I could be called stupid, cowardly, and brave.

I had been one of those guys who enlisted when they turned eighteen. Both brave and stupid. I was going to serve my country but that wasn't why I was going I just needed to leave and find a new path to go down but I was stupid too, I may have never had to go to war if I hadn't enlisted and then I wouldn't be here, running from home and it the process I killed two people.

Why didn't that affect me more? I ad killed two innocent people just because I was tired and I couldn't keep my eyes open. I had killed in Vietnam but that was war this was murder. Even though I knew that I was the reason that they were dead for some reason completely unknown to myself it didn't affect me. I felt no sorrow or remorse, it didn't hang over my head I was a different person than I once had been. I was no longer Ponyboy Curtis I was an injured veteran who was war scorned and plagued with problems that the war had cause me. Could I ever be happy again?

I hadn't realized that we had been driving the whole time and before I knew it we were in Alabama. It was dark outside and the bus stop was lit with bright lights.

When I stood up my legs nearly buckled from sitting down for so long. I grabbed my bag and just left the crutches I didn't think that I would need them anymore. I walked inside the large bus depot. There were people hugging other family members and it made me realize that I still had to find a way to get to Williams.

I was about to sit on one of those hard plastic chairs that they have strung together with metal but I needed fresh air instead. It was completely black outside, no stars and no moon. I turned the corner and walked back an alley way by mistake.

There was a guy with his back to me and there was smoke rising up over his head. I guess when he heard my footsteps he turned around.

"Hey, what are you doing back here?" He asked forcefully. It wasn't a cigarette that was in his hand instead a finely rolled joint of marijuana. He took a long drag off of it waiting for my answer.

"Just uh taking a walk."

"Okay, well do you want some? It's good only a little bit of money and you can have yourself a good night." He was defiantly smiling and I couldn't really make out his face but one thing that I was sure of was that he was high and right now that was what I needed to be.

"Yeah I'll take some."


	6. Chapter 6

I looked at the address on the paper and the looked at the house with the matching address

**Sorry this took so long, it's just that Spring Break came and I had planned to write a lot but the opposite happened and I have been hanging out with friends and just celebrating. Here is chapter 6 and there are two more to go, hope y'all enjoy. **

I looked at the address on the paper and the looked at the house with the matching address. The house was white and medium size. It was ordinary with an American flag hanging of the railing on the stoop.

I walked up the walk way and headed toward the black front door. I stopped at the porch. Was Williams even still here? Maybe he and his family left. What was his wife and his son's names?

I edged forward and opened the screen to knock on the front door. I waited a minute surveying the yard before a woman opened the door. This was his wife I remembered her from the hospital. Her long brown hair was tied back and her eyes were somewhat emerald colored.

"Hey, can I help you?" She had a very southern accent compared to Williams.

"Uh, yeah I think so. I'm looking for Srg. Williams, is he here or do I have the wrong address?"

"No, no he's here just wait one second." She disappeared inside the house. Sheryl. That was her name and his son's name was… Josh. I remembered when he told me this stuff when we were stuck together in Vietnam.

"Ponyboy Curtis, long time no see." Williams was standing in the doorway smiling.

"Hey man, you got some time to hang out with an old war buddy?" I asked as he came onto the porch. We shook hands.

"Sure I got plenty of time, lets walk around the property, small but there are some woods down yonder and a small holler." Williams said pointing to some trees off in the distance.

"I don't really know what you just said but okay." We started walking down a small path towards some woods.

"So why are you down here instead of being in Oklahoma with the family?" He asked as we entered the woods. It was dark and damp and the light that shone through the trees made it an eerie feeling.

"Home wasn't home anymore so I thought that I would go and look what's outside Oklahoma without having to go to Vietnam again."

"So you chose to come here, to Alabama. When you could go anywhere else that you knew in this country and you came here. That's a long distance to be traveling." Williams lead me down trough the woods 'till I could hear the sound of trickling water.

"This wasn't my first stop. Went to Colorado and then decided to come here and see how you were doing. I just couldn't handle home anymore if you know what I mean. What am I saying you seem happy-." I was cut off my Williams.

"Look I never said I was happy. Things change allover. I changed a lot when I was over in Vietnam and my wife changed when I was away and so did my son. We all changed and sometimes I wonder if we still fit together after we changed. Ponyboy every one changes and you have to try and make everything work." Williams turned around and looked at me. "Don't let your home slip away; don't let your family slip away." Williams started back towards the house.

"You can stay here until you can get another place to stay. The couch is not great but I think that it will do for the time being." Sheryl said as she made a bed on the couch.

"Don't worry it will be fine and thanks it really helps." I looked at her, she was unbelievably pretty but she didn't look happy.

"Alright if you need anything just ask and I should also warn you that Josh can wake up during the night and when he wakes up the whole household wakes up too, so for that I apologize." She finished the bed and was walking out of the room before I opened my mouth.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"No, what is it?"

"You don't look happy, are you? I don't mean to intrude but I was just curious because you look like me, unhappy." She looked at me with noting but shock.

"I'm not unhappy, but I'll admit that things have been hard and I'm still trying to wrap my head around everything that has happened. I mean one day my husband went to war the next I was being told that they didn't know where he was, and then I found out that he might be alive and he was. It was hard letting him go and then getting him back but it was amazing to see him again and I'm still adjusting. What about you, why are you not happy?" She sat down on the chair opposite me.

"I don't really know. I mean I just changed and I don't like home anymore because it just isn't home anymore. Does that make any sense?" I asked as I looked down at my feet.

"Yeah it does because it sounds like me, before that war we were different and even during the war we were different and it was great but now things aren't the same and it takes a lot of work to keep everything okay. Look we don't know each other but I think if you went back home and tried to make it like old times you might be able to do it but you have to at least try. Goodnight." Sheryl stood up and walked out of the room leaving me to my thoughts.

Maybe she was right and I would have to go back but that wasn't what I wanted to do. I didn't want to go home because it wasn't home. An eight grade flashback struck me, the saying 'you can't go home again'. We studied the meaning of that for a week. Some said that it meant that once you leave you can't return but I always thought that it meant that once you leave you can go back but it won't be the same. My home was gone. I had changed it Vietnam and so did the life that I had left behind.

**Review if you like it. **


	7. Chapter 7

The rain was coming down pretty hard

The rain was coming down pretty hard. I leaned against a brick wall. I had left Williams this morning and now I sat in an alley smoking. I took the finely rolled paper and lit the end before taking a long drag off of it. The sensation of everything that was weighing on me just disappeared in an instant.

I sat there leaning on a cold wall with nothing but a blank mind. I couldn't remember ever feeling this good. I felt free. Free was something that I had never really experienced, I was always being 'protected' by Darry and Soda and then when you are in the Army you really aren't free.

I liked being away from home and I liked being free. I took another long drag and everything drifted even more away. Maybe I should at least try to live out here. Pretty soon I would run out of money and then I would truly be screwed.

I finished smoking and felt extremely hungry. I stood up and walked out of the alley and looked around for a pit stop. I knew there was one a few blocks away but that was a long walk for me. I walked up the street and became tired after a few minutes.

The pit stop was near the bus station and once I passed that I knew I was nearby.

Maybe I should go to collage. I was going to after high school but I did something completely different. I could get a job out here and then go to collage and make something of myself. No. I couldn't I had changed way too much over the last few years and I would never be able to actually go through collage.

I walked into the pit stop getting any kind of food that looked good. Chips, chocolate, and anything that looked good. I paid with the little money that I had and went back to my motel room.

Number 9, that was where I was living when I could go back home. The bittersweet thing was that I was free here but not where I wanted to be. Part of me wanted to go home but the minute I did I was stuck there for the rest of my life. I didn't want this, I didn't want that life that I had. I want something better. I want a job and a life not to be the guy who is wasted every night of his life.

I finished eating before falling asleep and forgetting everything about that night, the thoughts of going back and thoughts of making a better life. I was here and no where else.

The next morning I was tired and groggy but ready to do the same thing I did everyday, nothing. I hated doing nothing but what else was there to really do, nothing.

I should listen to Sheryl and start over go back and see what everyone is up to but that isn't me, at least it isn't me any more. I stood up feeling light headed before I walked out of the motel room and down the street.

I normally went right but today I wondered what was left. Left, that was where I was going and right now I needed to start over. Everything had to change I couldn't be that guy anymore.

Collage. That was what I should do and from what the sign up a head said Remington Collage was right ahead. I looked like a guy that had been wasted for the longest time but I had to know that I at least tried.

I walked into the large and a little intimidating collage. I went to the dean of admissions to at least try. The door was in front of me but my had wouldn't go forward. Darryl Weathers.

"Excuse me, your secretary said that you were free for the next five minutes and all I need is to talk to you for a few minutes." I said when I did finally open the door.

"Yeah alright what ya need but I only got a few minutes."

"I know that you'll probably say no but I want to apply and make something of myself."

"Mhhmm. What is it that you want to do?"

"I really don't know I like to write but that's about it, there really isn't much else that I like to do I guess. I know how to work on cars though."

"Okay, well what do you want to write, I mean you have to have an idea and then you'll also have to have the money to apply and even then it may not happen."

"Right I guess my own experiences are all I know how to do. I wrote one along time ago but I mean one that I could write is about me and going to war and everything."

"Alright, take this application go outside and fill it out and write something to go along with it, like I said it is no guarantees but you never know. I have to go here fill this out." He handed me the paper before leaving.

I walked outside his office and started filling it out. There was a piece of paper that I had to fill out. The paper was blank and all I would have to do was write a few paragraphs and maybe I would get in. I still had enough money left over for a little time at collage and then I could get a job.

I started writing. 'I sat on my bed looking at the floor that was cluttered with papers, books, and empty cigarette cartons. I took a deep breath and just recalled all of the memories that I had experienced in this town. I always knew that I would someday leave this place but I never imagined that it would be to go fight for my country. I was afraid but I also knew that this was my duty, my country needed me to fight and that was what I was going to do.'

**Hope y'all liked it. This is the end and I know it isn't great but that's it. What he wrote is the first paragraph of Prisoner of War for those who are wondering, I thought it would be cool to end this like the Outsiders ended. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and I hope that you enjoyed it. This is my last Outsider story so I guess that this is goodbye. To those of you who like Harry Potter I am writing a story for that, go onto my profile page to check it out. Goodbye y'all. **


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